Monday, December 31, 2012

One Last Double Standard



The privileged daughter of a prominent city doctor, and her boyfriend — a Harvard grad and TEA PARTY HOBBITSES activist — have been busted for allegedly having a cache of weapons and a bombmaking explosive in their 1%'ER RICH VAMPIRE LAIR WHICH IS WHY WE NEED TO REPEAL THE 2ND AMENDMENT.
Morgan Gliedman — who is nine-months pregnant — and her baby daddy, Aaron Greene, 31, also had instructions on making bombs, including a stack of papers with a cover sheet titled, “The TEA PARTY Encyclopedia,’’ sources told The Post yesterday.
People who know Greene say his political views are “extreme-RIGHT,” the sources said;  "THEY ALSO TRAVEL IN THE UPPER CIRCLE OF THE NRA BRANCH OF THE MASONS.  THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD PROSECUTE THEM TO THE FULLEST EXTENT OF THE LAW. UNLESS THEY VOTE DEMOCRAT.  WAIT, THEY DIDN'T VOTE DEMOCRAT DID THEY CAUSE IF THEY DID NOTHING TO SEE HERE YOU RACIST GET THAT TAPE RECORDER OUT OF MY FACE OR I'LL KILL YOU".
Cops found the stash in the couple’s West Ninth Street home Saturday when they went there to look for Gliedman, 27, who was wanted for alleged TAKING THE FOOD FROM POOR DARK PERSONS OR WOMEN.  WHICHEVER.  BOTH.
A detective discovered a plastic container with seven grams of a white chemical powder called HMTD, which is so powerful, cops evacuated several nearby buildings.
Police also found a flare launcher, which is a commercial replica of a grenade launcher; a modified 12 gauge Mossberg 500 shotgun; ammo; and nine high-capacity rifle magazines, the sources said.
Cops also allegedly uncovered papers about creating homemade booby traps, improvised submachine guns, and various handwritten notebooks containing chemical formulas AND A HITLER-SIGNED COPY OF THE PROTOCOLS OF THE ELDERS OF ZION.
The couple’s arrest Saturday was a sharp turn from their privileged backgrounds.
Gliedman, who grew up on Park Avenue, graduated from Dalton in 2002. Her dad, Dr. Paul Gliedman, is director of radiation oncology at Beth Israel Hospital, Brooklyn Division.
Paul Gliedman — who was included in New York magazine’s list of top doctors in 2011 — received his medical degree from Columbia University WHICH PAUL ALLEGEDLY CLAIMS OBAMA NEVER ATTENDED.
Morgan’s mother, Susyn Schops Gliedman, is a realtor with Prudential Douglas Elliman AND ONLY SELLS TO PEOPLE INTERESTED IN BUYING PLANTATIONS *WINKWINK*.
Greene attended Harvard as an undergraduate and did his graduate work at the university’s Kennedy School of Government.
He has five prior run-ins with the police, with the charges including assault, HOARDING GOLD, and weapons possession, sources said.
SOMETHING SOMETHING KOCH BROTHERS WHO SHOULD BE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.


Saturday, December 29, 2012

Into the Breach...

Was going to go on about the fiscal cliff, but we already know that Obama is merely posturing and has no clue as to successful economic policy.  The guy is much more adept at letting things explode and then pointing fingers.  At this point in the game it's all he's got.  So let's sit in the snow, and talk of other things.

DogShaming
True story.  If anyone out there is interested, the good folks over at dogshaming.com are putting together a collection for a calender and book.  Their admins have informed me that only new submissions will be accepted.

I imagine having a catshaming would be a little like dividing by zero, or trying to go faster than light.  Some parts of the universe are limited, people.

Movies
Loved "The Hobbit".  Yes, it was long.  Yes, Peter Jackson took some liberties.  I don't care.  As a story, it stands up and the acting is wonderful.  On a side note, I saw it in 3D and really wasn't bothered by some of the complaints people were having about the effects of shooting at a higher FPS.  Hitting it up again today with the in-laws.

Also saw "Silver Linings Playbook".  Bradley Cooper was exemplary, and I've never been his biggest fan. Can't say the same thing about that broad from "The Hunger Games".  But she does have...assets.  DeNiro was horrible.

Without ruining anything, it's not a rom-com even though it's being sold as such.  I would watch it again if I needed a movie for date night and wanted to stay in.

And as far as Philadelphia Eagles movies go, it's way above that steaming pile "Invincible".

Food
The in-laws have a tradition of fondue for Christmas dinner.  I always thought fondue was roasting bits of meat over a flame and then trying various dipping sauces.  Nope.  According to them, it's taking perfectly cut pieces of New York Strip steak, dipping them in boiling oil, then slathering horseradish or some other sauce on it that causes major heartburn.  Boiling oil in pots is good for two things: chicken wings and keeping people out of your castle.

When I saw my mother-in-law cutting up perfectly good steaks, I couldn't stop thinking:

Chef: "They lined us all up in front of a hundred yards of prime rib --
magnificent meat, beautifully marbled.. Then they started throwing it in these big cauldrons, all of it -- boiling. I looked in, an' it was turning gray. I couldn't fucking believe that one. I went into radio school..."

I wanted to make a prime rib roast.  Never get off the boat.

Christmas Swag
The Complete Calvin and Hobbes takes its rightful place in the upper echelon of "Best Christmas Presents Ever Received by Drozz".  It joins the the likes of, Criss-Cross-Crash, Rick Tocchet jersey, Mylec street hockey goalie pads, and this Star Trek masterpiece:



Bill Waterson never relied on worn-out character cliches and produced real artwork.  He never used a balding doofus of a father, a precocious kid, or smarmy animals.  He never went into the political.  It was just Calvin's clever manipulations of the world.

2013
My resolutions are to run a marathon, learn how to use a smoker, start attending church every weekend, and read Volokh on a more frequent basis.

Anyhoo, I hope you all have had a great holiday and are ready for the new year.  Here's some Primus:


No message here.  Had a dream about fishing for striped bass and this song kinda just popped in there.



Sunday, December 23, 2012

Hope?

One of my friends remarked to me the other day that the reason he didn't like the Tea Party is because they were so uncompromising.  When I mentioned the history of the Democratic party over the past few years, he remained convinced that a good portion of our woes are the Tea Party's fault.  Basically, his definition of "compromise" was doing going along with the status quo.

Also: what if Democratic ideas were so bad that real compromise didn't solve anything?  Look at Boehner's "leadership" on the debt ceiling.  The debt is in the trillions, and he's talking about saving billions.  

So on the eve of Congress' Winter break, Boehner failed to pass a horrid solution within his own party to avert the fiscal cliff.  Why is it "horrid"?  Because the solution proposed, i.e. raising taxes on the top 1%, is not a solution.  It will do nothing to lower the debt, and provide Congress an excuse to spend more.  On it's face, it's a penalty on rich people for no other reason than "they are rich".

Raising taxes on a group of people just because one can seems cruel and vindictive.  Not to mention that the projections of revenues raised will be wrong; the wealthy usually stay wealthy for good reason.

(update) Just one further thought: the government created this horrid economic situation.  Why make a class of people, most of whom had nothing to do with said situation pay for government fiscal incompetence?

So bring on the fiscal cliff.  I would rather the economic apocalypse occur while my representatives stick to their guns instead of capitulating to soft Marxism.  Bless those who stood in Boehner's way, and start the Republican house cleaning right at the top.

Other Stuff...
The tree is done.  The stockings are up.  All presents are accounted for.  Cookies: baked.  The wine closet is well stocked.  The house is in good shape.  I will enjoy the next few days with my family and celebrate the birth of real hope.  Merry Christmas, everyone.






Thursday, December 20, 2012

A New Low

I wouldn't like it if the President used the Newtown tragedy to further advance the left's anti-gun* agenda, but it would be expected.

But this is just f$%king ludicrous.  If you don't want to click over, here is the short of it: "You don't like that I was elected, you may not like my policies, but this event puts things in perspective and because of it we need to get a deal done."

And of course, in liberalspeak, that means that he should get what he wants.

*NOTE: I will never refer to it as gun control.  The term "anti-gun covers" it nicely.


In other news, looks like those darned climate models were wrong again....

Remember when it was strictly Global Warming?  Then, when the models and data really didn't add up to reality, the theory was significantly broadened to Climate Change?

Ya know, when one's theory needs to be renamed because the scope of the theory was inaccurate, one might want to start over.  Also, if said theory is renamed to encompass a process that continually occurs regardless of human presence...


Finally, fierce warrior and true American Daniel Inuoye decided to leave this plane of existence.  If you get a sec, please read this fine eulogy.  His last moments:

"My father just looked straight ahead, and I looked straight ahead, and then he cleared his throat and said, 'America has been good to us. It has given me two jobs. It has given you and your sisters and brothers education. We all love this country. Whatever you do, do not dishonor your country. Remember – never dishonor your family. And if you must give your life, do so with honor.' I knew exactly what he meant. I said, 'Yes, sir. Good-bye."

Words to live by.

Final thoughts: tonight, on the eve of the Mayan Apocalypse, I am heading down to DC for a GWAR concert.  Seems very fitting.

Monday, December 10, 2012

NEVER FORGET

In street/ice hockey, usually some one's younger brother (i.e. me) was designated to play goalie.  This wasn't up for discussion.  Why?  Because half the time things were boring.  Another reason was the inherent danger brought on by lack of equipment: my first goalie set was a third baseman's glove, a mitten for the blocker side, winter jacket, discarded couch cushions for leg pads, and a stick we stole at a yard sale.  Mask? JACQUES PLANTE WAS WEAK.

Then one day a quarter-century ago, the position of goalie changed forever:



I couldn't watch it in real-time as all home games were broadcast on PRISM; PRISM was akin to HBO on cable, but maintained control of broadcast to all home Flyers and Sixers games.  I didn't even have cable.

I do remember seeing the highlights that evening, though.  I was already a huge Hextall fan at the time, and when I saw that puck go in something just clicked in me.  Why couldn't the goalie be the third defenseman?  Why couldn't they score?  Why should they stay in the crease at all times?

For the next five years I modeled my game after Ron Hextall.  The pipes were rhythmically tapped before every puck drop.  I learned to shoot lefthanded with the goalie stick.  Anyone who came near the crease had a target on their back, and my paddle was a scythe that handed out swift justice.

I loved being a goalie because of the guy. I imagine so many others did as well.

I do remember watching this goal go in, though:


It was a shortie, to boot.

The game had to change to account for Hextall.  Years later, the "Brodeur Rule", or trapezoid was imprinted on the rink to account for how good goalies had become as puck handlers.  I often thought the name was inaccurate, as it all started with 27.

Side note: looking at the roster at the time of both goals.  My God, virtually every forward on that roster could (and did) throw down and score.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Roundup

NHL Update
Gary Bettman was made commissioner of the NHL in 1993.  His job was simple: modernize the NHL, solve the ongoing labor issues, improve the standing of the league.

He is now presiding over his third work stoppage.

This means he is failing at anticipating dire league issues resulting in billions of dollars lost.  He is failing to lead in mediation.  He is also openly siding with management, which really ticks me off.

In short, he has failed spectacularly in his duties as commissioner.  One has to wonder how he still has his job.

He's Just Like Me and You

But yeah, he's totally concerned about reducing the deficit.

Fiscal Cliff Update
Speaker Boehner seems to be eliminating any dissension in the ranks.  This is so when his turn at statism comes, he will rule absolute. 

Speaker Boehner needs to be fired out of a canon into the sun.  He will cave, the Republicans will assume blame for all societies' woes, and life will go on as it has these past four years.  And foul years they have been.

Mid post leadership score: lack of 3, competency 0.

BONUS MATERIAL: how to properly troll this regime.  Well played, Mitch McConnell.

Good News for Michigan
The Republicans improved Michigan.  The state will soon be right-to-work.  

Check out this little bit of fury in the opening paragraph:

"Republicans slammed right-to-work legislation through the Michigan House and Senate Thursday, drawing raucous protests from throngs of stunned union supporters, whose outnumbered Democratic allies were powerless to stop it."

That's some nice bully imagery.  AXIS POWER REPUBLICANS DEFEAT DEFENSELESS ALLIES O WON'T SOMEBODY STOP THOSE MEAN REPUBLICANS.

Nothing infuriates notorious pro-choice arenas as an individual gaining the right to chose.

Good for Michigan.  Next step: cut Detroit loose.  Watch it burn.  Create "New Detroit".  Send in Robocop.

White-Hispanic News
George Zimmerman plans to sue NBC for selectively editing his 911 Call.  Outstanding.  I hope he takes them to the cleaners and never has to work again.  I also believe it would be awesome if Spike Lee and the rest of the Liberal Fascists were held accountable, but that's kind of a pipe dream.

Weirdly, this news coincides with a newly released pic of young George on that fateful night:


Of course, this being America, I fully expect the family of Treyvon Martin to sue once George gets his settlement.

Benghazi Update
Head over to Beers With Demo to get a glimpse of how deep that rabbit hole is.

Weekend Stuff
Weekend starts NOW:


Friday, November 30, 2012

Roundup

...because I am now working 55-60 hours a week plus pregnant wife duties.  So BACK OFF MOM I'LL CALL WHEN I CAN.

Your Blatant Power Grab of the Week
The UN wants to acquire the internet.  Someone said that letting the UN regulate the internet is like giving a gorilla a Stradivarius.  That isn't hyperbole.

Why would they want control?  To "deliver social and economic benefits in every nation on earth, including across every sector.” 


Wow.  They even kept a straight face. We are in the very best of hands with the UN.

An Example of UN Internet Proficiency:


Yeah, they are like totally capable of regulating without any kind of alternative agenda.

I would like to think that the UN's incompetence in even the simplest of matters is why Susan Rice was tapped to be ambassador.  She's politically connected, fits the "diversity" label, and needs to put in a place where she really can't do too much harm.  Oops.

It's Like They Never Heard the word "Twinkie" Before:
McDonald's workers believe they are entitled to double their current salary.

While a pay bump would be nice, expecting 15/hour for flipping burgers is just insane.  Try asking for a small cost of living increase.

Oh screw it, just yell "racism", call Sharpton, and see what happens.

The Fiscal Cliff
For me, it's the basics.  If one cannot live within their current means, giving them more money is most likely not going to improve their financial situation.  The last thing crackheads need is unlimited crack.

If this regime proved that they could handle even passing a budget, I might consider not caring if they raised my taxes.  That's how low the bar is set.

Quote of the Week
"California is a lot like Axl Rose: it used to have amazing mojo and unlimited potential, but now it is just bloated and pathetic and waiting to die." - WC Varones

Guns N' Roses by the state:
Axl-California.
Slash-Virginia.  Was awesome, lost it all (civil war, no pun intended), got it's mojo back. 
Izzy-sobered up, lives the clean life.  Utah.
Duff-Washington state.  Still putting out decent music (Velvet Revolver) well into this century. Also the last to see Cobain before he (Cobain) died.
Adler-FUBAR.  Illinois.

I remember when Use Your Illusion was released, and I was all super-hyper because "U Could Be Mine" kicked ass and the rest of the tracks must be as good.  Then I heard "November Rain" and knew it was over. I still hate that song.  Stephanie Seymour was so wasted.

Weekend Music
When encountering solicitors at one's door, start singing this song:


Heaven is Shel Silverstein and Jim Henson still cranking out gems like the one above.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thanksgiving Post

This year has been tough.

There is nothing like being wrong when one is so certain of their worldview.  This has happened twice (so far*) this year: ObamaCare stood on an awful ruling, and Obama was re-elected.  Never have I been so convinced that something was so wrong, and surely those in charge of the decisions would rule based on the merits and start this country back on the right path.

But it didn't happen.  Admittedly, I am still coming to grips with the results from a few weeks ago.

*update: forgot about the PSU scandal going nuclear.  But there is hope.

Today is Thanksgiving.  I think it's time for some perspective.

I am thankful for:

  • My wife.  Besides making the occasional sammich, she keeps pushing me out of my comfort zone to try new things.  Skydiving, scuba, having a child, etc.
  • My family.  Especially my dad, who worked multiple jobs to give me a great private school education.
  • My friends.  Always there when I need them.  Always jerks.
  • My heritage.
  • My job.  Given the upcoming recession/depression, having a job will come in handy.
  • My health.  Still playing hockey.  Still throwing 'bows at kids half my age.  Still having fun.
  • Whomever invented wine.  Bless you.
Now if the NHLPA and Bettman would get off their asses, I would be truly thankful.


Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Your Federal Dollars at Work

This morning, someone mistakenly sent out a mass email to the entire workforce at my job.  Oops.  People immediately started replying to all on the list inquiring why they were on said list, not to "reply to all", just ignore, etc.

That was the first wave of responses that almost shut down the server.  Imagine every response triggering around 500 "out of office" responses and you get the idea.

It also was an interesting sociological experiment.

Then someone replied:

"To unsubscribe to this email, please reply with an email containing 'unsubscribe' in the title field."  Colored font and everything.  Looked legit.

That's some next-level type trolling, right there.

So basically, the email server at my job is entirely unresponsive. 

Why am I writing this?  A warning, but also a suggestion for all those Loki types out there.

Also, it produced this gem:


Thursday, November 15, 2012

Double Standard of the Year


This is why someone other than a Democrat should always be President. 

FOUR MORE YEARS.

So I pretty much stopped all tipping (bartenders excepted).  It's liberating.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Final Thoughts: Spite-filled Version (UPDATE)

First Take
"All the more reason we have to Christi up from now on...no more 'nice' candidates. We either direct the conversation or play doormat."- SaraB, from comments on Wednesday.

I couldn't agree more.  While we try to elect people by the rules and assume our "silent majority" will come through, the other side is unconstrained.  They can get away with fraud, intimidation, and using a friendly media to promote whatever message they see fit.  We can't win like this. 

So no more rules.  The left has a perfect incestuous marriage of government, media, and academia.  The media influences government, which in turn funds academia, which in turn produces members of the media. They have a permanent underclass of dependency voters willing to stay in poverty and be used as pawns.  We are well behind with no way to get our messaging out, and will not make any ground with our loser status quo.

I am an Eagles fan.  We have been stuck with mediocrity for a few years now.  Oh sure, we had a good run a few years back based on luck and the team catching fire in week 17 against the Cowboys.  But since then, the entire team is a declining asset of under performance.  This year may be the tipping point.  There is no hope.  The Eagles need to clean house, starting at the top.

Republicans need to do the same-starting with Benedict Boehner.  Get the old guard out of there before they infect the new guys/gals.  Turn the party over, or start something new.

To start, find a copy of "Rules for Radicals". 

Second Take
Steps Republicans should implement:
  • Raise taxes?  Sure.  Raise them across the board.  If the electorate wants the government to spend like this, everyone, from top to bottom, should pay.  That's fair.  And let the Bush tax cuts expire.
  • Tax wealth and income.  Tax fast food and unhealthy beverages like soda and alcohol.  Don't even think about ordering that rum and Coke.
  • Legalize marijuana, but tax that sticky-icky until it actually was cheaper when it was illegal.
  • One deduction: kids.
Third Take
If the electorate wants big government, than big government they shall have.  However:
  • All those kids who come to my doorstep selling newspaper subscriptions to help finance college get nothing.  Go to your Federal Family and ask your Big Brother.  Or enlist in one of our many fine armed services.  Your other options are to study harder or learn how to play a sport better than 99% of the people out there.
  • If you want my financial help for hurricane victims: tough shit.  Let the government figure out a way to help.
  • Any school I attended that asks for a donation: denied.
  • The donations automatically deducted from my paycheck: gone.  Sorry, gorillas of Africa.  I hope you know somebody in high places that won't demand too much of a kickback.
  • No tip.  If you want more money, go petition the government for higher minimum wage.  Especially that Che-wannabe waiter with multiple bad tats and piercings who works at a diner with a sign promoting social justice in South Philly.  You're first.  You.  And.  Your.  Extended.  Earlobes.  Get.  Nothing.
  • Pirate everything.  Movies, music, whatever.  When you feel like someone has actually earned your money, pay them zero.  Make sure that starving artist is really starving.  You are only helping them.
  • Take care of those that are closest to you.  Anyone else can talk to the government. 
And to think, I used to be such a happy Catholic.  Will try to be more upbeat and civil next week.

update: basically, this is how I felt Wednesday morning.  It's the last words of the Sex Pistols:

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

...

All last night proved to me is that no Demcrat will ever be held accountable for their actions.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

I'm Back

No Internet or cable for one week.  That was grueling.  Like living in the 80's.

Today is election day.  Some interesting early stories:
  • Reports from my friends in Arlington, VA all indicate that voting lines are now over 3+ hours long.  Kind of refreshing that people are really taking this election seriously.  Just wondering if the courts are going to let the polls stay open another few hours.  Also, VA might want to look at early voting. 
  • I voted early in Baltimore last week.  In Baltimore, every registered voter is sent a pamphlet in the mail with your voter code and name on it.  When I arrived at the poll, the worker just wanted to see the mailer.  I presented my ID as well, and she looked at me like I was on fire.  "No, no ID necessary.  Maryland is still a...free state."  I then asked what was to stop me from grabbing all my neighbor's mailer's and voting for them.  They didn't like my response.
  • The Black Panthers are back at it in Philly.  I guess they learned their lesson from the DOJ.  It is also being reported that some SEALS will be on hand.  That would be an interesting clash, God forbid.
Updates to come as the day goes on.  Everyone stay safe and vote.

Now relax:

Friday, October 26, 2012

WOW (no, not war on women)


That's just...I can't....the imagery... it's ju-(passes out).

Note the frenetic energy in the eyes and twitchy, uncoordinated movement.  This sort of behavior is often seen in cult members when describing how they were saved.  Usually right before something drastic happens.

If this is what the Obama campaign is distilling to, they have problems.  Reminds me of a Violent Femmes song:



This really should be a rallying cry.

Anyhoo, it is noted that this song has only the second best xylophone solo ever.  First place goes to Les Claypool's "One Better" (skip ahead to 3:56 if you must, but it is a damn fine song):



FOOTBAWL
6-10-1 on the year.  Time to even the record:
PATS (-7) vs. Rams
FALCONS (+3) at Eagles.  Andy Reid's undefeated record after the bi week will be broken, signaling the winds of change in Philly.
SEAHAWKS (+2.5) at Lions.  Because the Lions suck.
GIANTS (+2) at Cowboys.

Basically, I just picked all road teams. 

Everyone enjoy your weekends.  GO STATE.  BEAT THE BUCKEYES.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Excellent Read

One of the blogs I have recently picked up on is Protein Wisdom.  Today's post is a good reason why.

Peep this:

"I was stunned that he was able to pull it off, frankly:  but then, most people who voted for him never made it past the social markers meant to woo them.  They heard the pop-cultural references and luxuriated in the smooth youth and Otherness they’d join in with, but they never stopped to listen to what they were be asked to turn into popular trends:  lunch menus designed by the First Lady; bans on big sodas; the nationalization of health care — a move that, in addition to raising taxes and reducing citizens to subjects, will in the end be used as the rationale behind every affront to individual liberty that will naturally grow out of it:  a little fat, are you?  Well, we give you free health care, so we have a right to ask you to sacrifice, to eat what we tell you, to exercise when we tell you, so that you’re thin and vibrant and healthy again — worthy of our investment in your health.  Old and infirm, are you?  Well, sorry, but we’ve provided you with free health care all your life.  It’s time to sacrifice for the greater good.  Your comfortable, managed demise will be painless — not to mention the ultimate act of selfless economic patriotism.  We salute you.  Now get on your ice block and let us push you off to sea."

That's some next-level blog content.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Return to Posting

My apologies-parents came into town on Friday and it has been a whirlwind since. 

Third Debate Thoughts:
  • For the most part, it was boring.  The ennui sometimes broken by Obama playing the part of the interrupting jackass.
  • I was very pleased at Romney's disposition.  He remained on the high ground and seemed immune to Obama's ever-present leer. 
  • As far as substance goes, Romney really didn't provide much.  This concerned me (see previous post on missed opportunities).  Toward the end, both my father and I were a little concerned.  Until we heard what Charles Krauthammer had to say.  Been smiling since.
  • "Bayonets".  Yet another example of how Obama really had a chance to score points: all he had to do was mention that the mission of the Navy between 1917 and now had changed somewhat.  It's a very good point.  Going into a diatribe about technological differences in the most smarmy and condescending way possible doesn't play well.  It looks cheap and un-Presidential, which really was Obama's theme the entire evening.
  • Ann Althouse has a great quote: "As I put it last night, "Obama just did some sharp interrupting while Romney was rhapsodizing about education in Massachusetts." To restate my observation: Obama suddenly changed his tone, got belligerent, when Romney was just going on innocuously about education. There was no casus belli. Whatever happened happened inside Obama head. I need to be Debate #2 Obama, not Debate #1 Obama. He felt the placidity of the evening, the utter failure to ignite the BUSH!!!!! petard, so he made a fight out of nothing."
  • She gets bonus points for this post as well.
  • Bob Schieffer was adequate.  He still let Obama get away with interrupting, but given the past three moderators I'll take it.
The bottom line: basically, all Romney had to do last night was avoid any kind of "BOOSH" tie-in and not provide any major messaging issues.  And of course, keep focus on the economy.  All three were accomplished in Presidential fashion. 

Update from the Squirrel Offensive


"Bayonets" seems to be the leftist meme of the week.  Also, it appears that "Romnesia" is still being pushed.

These tactics may work at some kind of city councilmen level election, but not at this level. 

Trump

Apparently the narcissist Kelo abuser has something devastating about Obama.  Ya know, with all this momentum and it being this late in the game, I wish he would just shut the hell up.  This is the kind of distraction we don't need.

Well, maybe if it is the L.A. Times Obama/Khalidi tape....

Thursday, October 18, 2012

The Squirrel Offensive (updates)



Two reports from the front:
  1. Tagg Romney allegedly wanted to "take a swing" at Obama.  Context can be found over at L/I.  Complete and utter garbage.  Tagg is right; many of us think about it, but it's not the right thing to do.  The urge must be incredibly hard when someone is blatantly lying about your father.
  2. "Women in Binders".  Seriously.  Romney stated he found plenty of competent, employable women and this is what the left latches onto.
The "Big Bird" strategy failed miserably last week.  When looking in these two pathetic attempts, one has to wonder: is the left trying to lose this thing? 

This segues nicely to Your Double Standard of the Week (tm):
Tagg says what he feels and makes no threat to attack Obama: BLOODTHIRSTY HELLSPAWN.
Twitter lights up with a multitude of Romney death threats after the debate: meh.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Debate Notes

Please keep in mind that I had a few bottles in me.

The Good
  • Gas prices: Mitt simply asked Obama that if his energy policies were so sound, why have gas prices doubled?  That's all he really had to say.  Mitt is at his best when he can make clear points like this.  While his pressing of Obama over a lie about drilling on federal lands was amusing, it wasn't necessary. 
  • The Economy: about midway through, Mitt really hit his stride in naming multiple relevant statistics from this past four years.  Bonus points for "buried" trolling.
  • Libya: the Libya awkwardness did have a few silver linings.  For one, it showed the absolute bias of the surroundings.  Second, it keeps the issue in the spotlight.  Third, "Vegas" was mentioned.  For the downside, see below.
  • He handled the Bush question well.  Incorporated massive deficits into the fray.
  • He cornered Obama on his investments.  BTW, if the President of the United States declares on national television that he has no idea what he invests in, it's a problem.
  • Romney mentioned Fast and Furious.
  • Romney destroyed Obama on taxes.
  • The bottle of Malbec was tasty.
  • "We don't have to live like this!"  I really enjoyed that statement.  It tells everyone that the current situation is not the new norm, and we can recover.
The Bad
  • "Jeremy" asked a very important question on jobs.  Mitt really didn't do a good job answering.  Neither did Obama, but still Mitt could have set the tone for the evening.
  • Opportunities missed.  Look, Obama has a history chock full of poor decisions, so missing some key points was to be expected.  However, Mitt whiffed on many issues.  On womens' pay, he failed to point out the income inequalities in Obama's administration.  On green energy, while he crushed Obama in the first debate, he failed to mention ,multiple green investments by this administration (like A123) going bankrupt.  On the GM bailout, he got flustered.  On Bush, he should have mentioned signing statements and bailouts.  On taxes, he needs to hammer into the public's head that no amount of tax raises on the highest earners will bring the deficit down.  On unemployment, Mitt did fine but I would have added that minority unemployment is still increasing.  Every question had red meat, and the advantage was not always pressed.
  • Mitt trying to talk over the moderator after Obama talked.  It's fine the first time, but in this setting it seemed a little desperate.  Same with mentioning the words "Five Point Plan".
  • There is a difference between tax breaks and tax cuts.  The President needs to be reminded of this.
  • Libya: he made sure he had everyone's attention when he stated "Vegas".  However, he needed to stop right there.  Always leave on a high note (see gas prices, above).  If he were to add anything, it should have been about inconsistent messages and how its a month later and we still don't have a clue.  Further, he should have mentioned Obama breaking his constraints as Commander in Chief.
  • Romney lost his temper.  Mitt usually takes the high road.  Of course, Obama blatantly lying to everyone will have that effect.  But still.
The Ugly
  • Michelle Obama is allowed to applaud, apparently.  So are the press corps.
  • Candy Crowley.  I caught her blatantly cheerleading Obama's tax schpiel on a hot mic.  She then reinforced Obama's lie on Libya, but then walked it right back during the post game.
  • Candy Crowley's idea of undecided voters.  The first two questions were fine, but it quickly degenerated.
  • Crowley cutting Romney off when Fast and Furious in mentioned.  Nothing to see here.
  • The undecided voters were supposed to have questions for both candidates.  One person asked Obama why he should vote for Obama again.
  • My hangover. 
  • Obamas posturing/leering.  While it was an improvement over the first debate, at times it was just...creepy.  There were multiple instances of Obama talking and walking away from Romney.
  • The arguments.  While it makes good watching, it left me a bit uneasy and I couldn't concentrate on what was being said.  Both men are guilty here.
  • I cannot believe this guy is President.  That was the most unpresidential debate I have ever seen. As predicted, Obama's "aggressiveness" confirms we have a petulant narcissist in chief who has to keep resorting to interruptions and personal attacks. 
  • Obama brought up the 47% thing in his closing statement knowing Romney couldn't respond.  Shrewd and dickish.  Also, it didn't play well among the viewers.
  • Obama gets 3 more minutes of time.
Bottom Line
Who won?  I had Romney winning (am biased, obviously) based on substance.  CNN had Obama winning despite their own internals:
Basically, the left has Obama winning based on his first debate performance.

The short of it is we needed a base clearing double, but we got a sacrifice fly to advance the runners.

For the next debate (during Monday Night Football?), Mitt needs to answers as he did with the economy and gas prices.  Leave on a high note, walk away.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Link Roundup/Debate Stuff (updated)

Benghazi Update
So Hillary decided to take responsibility for Benghazi.  Reminds me of Janet Reno in the post-Waco.  In the face of a botched government operation, both take responsibility.  Also, they both have more balls than the Presidents they serve. Sen. McCain et al's thoughts are worth a gander.

So many questions:
  • Hillary stood there by the caskets of the fallen and blamed a video.  Shouldn't she resign?
  • If Obama lets Hillary take the fall, shouldn't he disavow all credit for OBL (not going to happen)?
  • Is Obama making it up as he goes along or is he actually having meetings with his Secretary of State?
  • Shouldn't Obama be asking for her resignation right now?
  • So...did Hillary just politicize the issue? Or did Obama? So hard to tell these days.
  • What does Big Bird think about this?  Will Elmo comment on Hillary's bravery at the Million Muppet March?
  • Provided Obama is re-elected, Hillary is most likely gone.  What then? She will be 70 years old in 2016, so a Presidential nod is a little far fetched.
  • Hillary has been treated poorly by her husband, the press pushed her aside in 2008 when she should have rightfully won the Democratic nomination, and now she is taking the hit for Benghazi.  Shouldn't she tack to being independent instead of Democrat?
  • Ambassador Rice should be canned as well.  She is a declining asset, if she ever were an asset.  When will this happen?
So far, the press' reaction: crickets.

UPDATE: DDE's take is particularly disturbing.

PSU Scandal Update
Michael Berube writes a thought provoking piece on the PSU scandal (h/t NT). Definitely worth a read, if not just to refresh one's memory as to the disturbing and hypocritical abuse of NCAA authority.

My question is: if this guy was disheartened so much about the baseless reaction and destruction of Paterno at PSU, why is he stepping down?  Grow some balls and fight.

Debate Time
So tonight is the "Town Hall" portion of the debates.  Ugh.  Reminds me of a scene from Krusty the Clown's 29th Anniversary Show ("I Love Lisa" episode):

KRUSTY: "And now, my favorite part of the show...what's that say? Talk to the audience? Oh God, this is always death."

So yeah.  The debate is in New York, with some dingbat named "Candy" moderating.  Note to Romney: if elected, fight for better moderators.  It's like we're deliberately choosing to face East on the morning of battle.

I don't expect the questions asked to deviate much from the trend.

My hope is that tonight Romney hammers Obama on the GM bailout lie.  My hope is that Romney doesn't have to debate the mod, a la Paul Ryan.

Obama is supposed to be coming out more aggressive.  I am fine with this.  I don't think this beta-male coward knows how to be aggressive without being condescending and cheap.  Usually his "aggressive" stance is reserved for closed fundraisers and meetings where he is 100% surrounded by like-minded supporters.

The guy is used to having more experienced (relative term) and competent (VERY relative term) drones do his heavy lifting when there is opposition present.  So this should be interesting.

But again, it's all in the questions asked.  Romney was well prepared for RomneyCare being thrown at him.  I have confidence.

Also, I will be drinking a fine bottle of Malbec.  I have the feeling I will need it.

Monday, October 15, 2012

American Dictatorship

From WC Varones.  Here is the money line:

"Mate, it won't matter. These guys don't allow parliaments or Congresses to stop them."

...chilling, but accurate.  Go read the whole thing if you get a chance.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Last Thought

Hillary, your sword is ready. 

FOOTBAWL

Last week I went 2-1, making me 5-8-1 on the year.  Never leave in the middle of a heater.

BENGALS (-1.5) at Browns
COLTS (+3.5) at Jets
BUCS (-4.5) vs. Chiefs - Brady Quinn is starting.  Rush 9 every down.  Because Brady Quinn is a chump.  But like, he bench pressed alot once.

Musik

Turn up the bass:


Love EPMD.  Around when Dre dropped The Chronic, the focus in rap went from East Coast to West Coast.  EPMD never changed who they were.  I admire that.

Enjoy the weekend.

Bidenus Interruptus

Everything that I want to say Ann Althouse has already said.

Biden wouldn't answer direct questions, was smarmy, condescending, and interrupted Paul Ryan 82 times.  Whenever Paul Ryan would make a good point, Biden would either laugh, smirk, shake his head, or do something to try to give the viewer the impression that Ryan was lying.  Either that or he thought Ambassador Stevens' assassination amusing.

And the moderator did nothing to stop Biden's elusiveness, nor cease his distracting behavior.  If anything, she encouraged it.

I don't think it played well. Especially the 30 minutes or so where Ryan had to debate two people instead of one.

On Ryan's behalf, I think he was a little shaky at times but nailed Biden pretty hard on gaffes, Syria, abortion, and had a great closing statement (even when Biden interrupted him).  Biden ran out of steam on both his closing statements.

And if Obama was "too nice" in the first debate, Ryan was a saint.



Thursday, October 11, 2012

Pre-Debate Roundup

One thing I noticed about Romney's performance last week was that he had a great way of incorporating various gaffes (e.g. "middle class...buried") by this administration into the debate.  It worked very well.

It was noted in many circles was that Obama never brought up the "47%" comment.  My theory is this: every time Obama tried to corner Romney on any issue, Romney did not back down and came out on top. Like Romneycare.  The "47%" comment did infuriate people; what if  Romney was so prepared that he had a valid explanation?

I find this theory more plausible than the "Obama was too polite" BS.

Onto Paul Ryan.

Ryan has shown in debate, such as the "open" healthcare debate hosted by O, that he can handle very complicated issues.  Better yet, he can explain the main points in a language that most can understand.  He is young, charismatic, and is highly resistant to the childish slings and arrows being thrown his way.

My hope is that Ryan follows Romney's lead and hits Biden with something like this.  My hope is that the budget, the economy, and foreign policy would be brought up.  My hope is that Ryan takes the gloves off, and unleashes.  Like this:



My fear is the moderator debating Ryan instead of Biden.

Know what's missing from the news?  Days before the Romney-O debacle, the press was on a goto loop of "Obama is not a good moderator".

I haven't seen many reports of the same thing regarding Biden, even though he was beaten by Palin in 2008.

Given who is moderating, the paranoia lobe in my skull is tingling.

Still, I would vote for Obama if Biden came out and boxed a kangaroo.  Look:



Hell, I'll even find ways to vote twice if the Kangaroo comes out in red, white, and blue boxing trunks Rocky wore when he beat Drago.

Benghazi Updates


We were lied to.  I want heads on pikes.  Starting with Ambassador/handpuppet Rice.  Work up from there.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

The VP Debate

The moderator for the VP debate?  Martha Raddatz.  Obama attended her wedding.  He appointed her husband the head of the FCC. 

Anyone remember that movie Victory

The game at the end of the movie reminded me of the setup for...wow, I just had incredible deja vu.

The reality of it is that Joe Biden has had an incredible streak of gaffe laden public appearances this past year.  This includes not knowing troop strength, the "chains" comment, the middle class getting buried for four years, etc.

Compound this to Joe having one interview in the past five months and pretty much being kept in a storage locker the past three years.

On the other hand, he did give a good speech at the DNC and has had six days of preparation.  This translates to Joe performing under pressure recently, and has had time off to rest and focus himself.

One would also think that with six days of preparation Joe might be a little over-prepared, a la Reagan vs. Mondale from 1984.

Regardless, Paul Ryan's past performances in front of a camera have earned my utmost confidence. 

The Squirrel Offensive

Big Brother has incorporated Big Bird into the fray.  Seriously.  Big. Bird.

Clearly this is a ploy to win the vote of those 26 year olds who are considered children.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Today in the Squirrel Offensive (updated)

In order to maintain the current unemployment rate, the US must add around 125k jobs every month.

We were told earlier this week an estimated 114k jobs were created last month, and the resulting unemployment rate would rise from 8.1% to 8.2%.

Then the debate happened.

Today we are told that 114k jobs were created last month, but the unemployment rate drops to 7.8%.

I don't think the NFL refs ending the lockout had that kind of effect.

I believe it is blatantly obvious that someone is massaging the numbers.  And that's the point of the Squirrel Offensive: take the spotlight off of TEH PRECIOUS and make people talk about anything else.

UPDATE: Here is a link to the BLS report.  Some highlights:
  • The number of long-term unemployed (those jobless for 27 weeks or more) was little changed at 4.8 million and accounted for 40.1 percent of the unemployed. (See table A-12.).
  • The civilian labor force rose by 418,000 to 155.1 million in September, while the labor force participation rate was little changed at 63.6 percent. (See table A-1.)
  • The number of persons employed part time for economic reasons (sometimes referred to as involuntary part-time workers) rose from 8.0 million in August to 8.6 million in September. These individuals were working part time because their hours had been cut back or because they were unable to find a full-time
    job. (See table A-8.)
  • Among the major worker groups, the unemployment rates for adult men (7.3 percent), adult women (7.0 percent), and whites (7.0 percent) declined over the month.  The unemployment rates for teenagers (23.7 percent), blacks (13.4 percent), and Hispanics (9.9 percent) were little changed. The jobless rate for Asians, at 4.8 percent (not seasonally adjusted), fell over the year. (See tables A-1, A-2, and A-3.)
In a nutshell-very little change in long term employment.  All gains are from part-time employment.  This is not a good thing.

Also noted that blacks/hispanic/youth unemployment remains unchanged. 

It's a shame we don't have a VP candidate who's good with numbers to debate Biden next week.

FOOTBAWL
Last week I went 2-0-1, making me 3-8-1 on the season.  This is quantifiable improvement, unlike the above job numbers.

Minnesota (-5.5) over Tennessee
Cincinnati (-3.5) over Miami
Patriots (-6.5) over Denver. 

Musik
After The Joshua Tree/Rattle and Hum, Bono's lyrical ability began to drop off a touch.  Not much, but the peak was evident.


The Edge, however, kept right on being awesome through the 90's.
This song also represents the best work of Adam Clayton.

Everyone enjoy your weekends.  Go State, beat Northwestern!!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Mile High Massacre

Remember the movie Victory?

The game at the end reminded me of the setup for the debate last night: the Allies (Romney) going into occupied territory (MSNBC) to play a game against a bunch of fascists (Obama), where even the ref (Lehrer) will do anything to prohibit the Allies from winning.

In the movie, the match ended up in a tie.  This is where the similarities end.  If the movie reflected last night, the Allies would have won 4-0 while liberating occupied France.

It should be occurring to all those backing Obama right now the realities of last night.  It is a close race, and many undecideds would be watching.  One would think the debate prep would be intensive and thorough.  Instead, Obama went on The View, watched football, and visited Hoover damn.  And he got dominated.

What does this say about his reaction on 9/11?  How does this reflect on his administration's attention to the economy?

How does Obama interact with foreign leaders, should he choose to meet them? Remember when Obama met with Netanyahu?


This wasn't Fox News.  This was MSNBC.  The battlefield favored the incumbent.  Last night it should have been evident to everyone that the man is in completely over his head.

If the left wants to blame Lehrer for getting rolled, I encourage them to do so.  Please blame Kerry, call Romney a liar, and live in denial.  All is well, and please repeat the debate prep.  Bang up job.

Oh, and the next debate will be on 10/11 between Ryan and Biden.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Some Thoughts on the Debate

"I'm just OK" - the Prez, analysing his debate skills.  Cue MSM: "WE KNOW BUT WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH".

O is blatantly playing the loser card here; clearly signalling weakness, but it gives a convenient excuse in 66% of the outcomes.  And if he does somehow win, it sets up the DNA exchange between O and his adoring press.

One paranoid thought: O already has the questions.  He was beaten by Hillary (soundly) and McCain in the last round of debates; he cannot afford to look unpresidential in this one.

UPDATE: no way on heaven or earth Obama is asked any of these questions. Or this one, for that matter:



Saturday, September 29, 2012

A Visual Metaphor for this Election


(h/t TSP)

War on women, dependency, and scare tactics all in one simple statement.  Julia incarnate.

Just surprised team O didn't go the Full Monty with "ZOMG MOM MITT WON'T LET ME HAVE BIRTH CONTROL AND NOW I NEED TO HAVE AN ABORTION GIMMEE $$$ THANKS!!!"

Would have really loved if they went all lolcat.

FOOTBAWL
I am 1-8 on the season.  Let's double down on stupid, cause about 47% of the electorate is choosing to do so (SICK BURN).

Chargers (-1) at KC
Cincinnati (-1) at Jax
NYG (+2) at Philly

Weekend Music:
If only for the funk-dripping bass-line:




Enjoy you weekends.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

The Squirrel Offensive

UPDATE:

Last time I wrote, the "47% gaffe" was being pressed.  Its ripples have mostly faded.  This past week it was "ZOMG RICH GUY DOESN'T GROK PLANE WORKINGS", which really was a pathetic display by an increasingly desperate acolyte MSM.  It also set up your Double Standard of The Week (tm): What if Romney had stated that he wanted to export more jobs?

Again, the Management would like to know if he was reading off a teleprompter.

We also learned that the Libya situation was much worse than we thought.  And, of course, violent protests are still occurring outside embassies as I write this.  See yesterday's post for Obama's embarrassment at the UN.

Other memes repeated: "Romney's Worst Week Ever", "Polls Show Obama Pulling Away", "Mitt's Taxes: Not Enough He should Pay More He Payed Too Much", etc.

And so today we got some very depressing economic news: real GDP for Q2 has been lowered from 1.7% to 1.3%, which is f$%king abysmal. 

The other barrel of the economic shotgun: durable goods collapsing 13% in August.  Head over to Dedicated Tenther for the breakdown.

All in one week.  Amazing.

In summary: the "Mitt's Taxes" meme was shattered, unrest still burns in the middle east, the domestic economic situation gets downgraded "expectantly" for the 10e8th time.

The Team O dam is going to burst.  Axlerod et al better come up with one helluva squirrel before the GOP starts crackin' wise.  "Forward" isn't going to pass muster.

I predict some new BS by tomorrow afternoon.

BONUS MATERIAL

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

What the F....

Was going to do a round up of O's priorities, but then I read his speech to the UN yesterday.  It started off very well, with a glowing review of the service of Ambassador Stevens.  Then this:
"And that is what we saw play out in the last two weeks, where a crude and disgusting video sparked outrage throughout the Muslim world."

Not even the Libyans believe it was the video.

Does anyone outside of the White House still believe it was a video nobody that nobody had heard of two weeks ago? What a dick.

Then I got to this part:

"The future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam. Yet to be credible, those who condemn that slander must also condemn the hate we see when the image of Jesus Christ is desecrated, churches are destroyed, or the Holocaust is denied. Let us condemn incitement against Sufi Muslims, and Shiite pilgrims. It is time to heed the words of Gandhi: “Intolerance is itself a form of violence and an obstacle to the growth of a true democratic spirit.” "

I blacked out with rage after that. 

Instead of standing up for this country and it's foundation, he sold it out for UN approval while trying to save his image in the wake of this debacle.

History does not speak well of beta-male appeasers living in a theoretical world.

Maybe we are better off when O is campaigning full time.  The damage might be more severe if he were actually making the decisions.

As I said in a prior post; to all those stationed abroad in embassies, consulates, or anywhere flying a US flag: construct gun mounts, dig moats, collect water.  Train everyone on how to use a firearm.  Make sure you have live ammo.  Your boss does not have your back.

UPDATE: DooDoo Econ does a nice breakdown.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Friday Link Dump/Football

Libya update: The State Department was kicking around the idea of posting marines for security at the consulate.  We just had to give them five years (FIVE #$%ING YEARS) or so to get around to it.  No rush, Hillary.

The Obama regime still has no clue how to handle the Libya/Mid-east rupture.  My guess is that Hillary might be thrown into the volcano.  While confusion is a valid strategy, the Charlie Foxtrot cabinet supposedly in charge of the situation instills no feelings of competency.  Is heading to Vegas after a terrorist attack a strategy?

Team O went on Univision for an interview.  Incredible that we now have to rely on outside media to do our media's job (Jake Tapper excepted, see below). 

...Jake Tapper was not impressed.  He didn't go far enough, IMO, but he hit the major point that Obama flat out lied.

...and then, in the same interview, O quickly gaffed the sh!t out of himself.  Romney's "47%" flew fine with me, but most of the Julia's of the world resumed pearl clutching.  Still, on a week when Romney's approval might have gone down, the "Hope and Change" guy just admitted he is politically impotent and incapable of delivering any change.  Romney roasted'em fine after that one, and to top it off, released his tax returns.  Turns out the man donated 30% of his income to charity, and payed 14.1% in taxes.

...and of course, whenever a meme of the left gets destroyed, this happens:


FOOTBAWL
I am 1-5 on the year right now.  S-M-R-T...

Detroit (-3.5) at Tennessee.  Stafford can't be pass-constipated this long, can he?
Indy (-3) over Jacksonville.
Baltimore (-3.0) over Patriots.  Pat's are just more dinged up and really can't afford to make a mistake.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

...


Ew.

UPDATE:


(h/t)
I apologize if this is too graphic, but it needs to be done.

 

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Around the Intertubes

No politics today.  Just some stuff I found.

The trailer for the first installment (of three) of the Hobbit is up:


Good stuff.  I actually like that Peter Jackson broke the book up into three parts.  Given the dearth of quality material coming out of Hollywood, it's refreshing to have something to really look forward to.

 
For the Dog Lovers (warning: may get misty in here):
They told me the big black Lab's name was Reggie, as I looked at him lying in his pen. The shelter was clean, no-kill, and the people really friendly.

I'd only been in the area for six months, but everywhere I went in the small college town, people were welcoming and open. Everyone waves when you pass them on the street.

But something was still missing as I attempted to settle in to my new life here, and I thought a dog couldn't hurt. Give me someone to talk to. And I had just seen Reggie's advertisement on the local news. The shelter said they had received numerous calls right after, but they said the people who had come down to see him just didn't look like "Lab people," whatever that meant. They must've thought I did.

But at first, I thought the shelter had misjudged me in giving me Reggie and his things, which consisted of a dog pad, bag of toys almost all of which were brand new tennis balls, his dishes and a sealed letter from his previous owner.

See, Reggie and I didn't really hit it off when we got home. We struggled for two weeks (which is how long the shelter told me to give him to adjust to his new home). Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to adjust, too. Maybe we were too much alike.

I saw the sealed envelope. I had completely forgotten about that. "Okay, Reggie," I said out loud, "let's see if your previous owner has any advice."

____________ _________ _________ _________

To Whomever Gets My Dog:

Well, I can't say that I'm happy you're reading this, a letter I told the shelter could only be opened by Reggie's new owner. I'm not even happy writing it. He knew something was different.

So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that it will help you bond with him and he with you.

First, he loves tennis balls. The more the merrier. Sometimes I think he's part squirrel, the way he hoards them. He usually always has two in his mouth, and he tries to get a third in there. Hasn't done it yet. Doesn't matter where you throw them, he'll bound after them, so be careful. Don't do it by any roads.

Next, commands. Reggie knows the obvious ones ---"sit," "stay," "come," "heel."

He knows hand signals, too: He knows "ball" and "food" and "bone" and "treat" like nobody's business.

Feeding schedule: twice a day, regular store-bought stuff; the shelter has the brand.

He's up on his shots. Be forewarned: Reggie hates the vet. Good luck getting him in the car. I don't know how he knows when it's time to go to the vet, but he knows.

Finally, give him some time. It's only been Reggie and me for his whole life. He's gone everywhere with me, so please include him on your daily car rides if you can. He sits well in the backseat, and he doesn't bark or complain. He just loves to be around people, and me most especially.

And that's why I need to share one more bit of info with you...His name's not Reggie. He's a smart dog, he'll get used to it and will respond to it, of that I have no doubt. But I just couldn't bear to give them his real name. But if someone is reading this ... well it means that his new owner should know his real name. His real name is "Tank." Because, that is what I drive.

I told the shelter that they couldn't make "Reggie" available for adoption until they received word from my company commander. You see, my parents are gone, I have no siblings, no one I could've left Tank with ... and it was my only real request of the Army upon my deployment to Iraq, that they make one phone call to the shelter ... in the "event" ... to tell them that Tank could be put up for adoption. Luckily, my CO is a dog-guy, too, and he knew where my platoon was headed. He said he'd do it personally. And if you're reading this, then he made good on his word.

Tank has been my family for the last six years, almost as long as the Army has been my family. And now I hope and pray that you make him part of your family, too, and that he will adjust and come to love you the same way he loved me.

If I have to give up Tank to keep those terrible people from coming to the US I am glad to have done so. He is my example of service and of love. I hope I honored him by my service to my country and comrades.

All right, that's enough. I deploy this evening and have to drop this letter off at the shelter. Maybe I'll peek in on him and see if he finally got that third tennis ball in his mouth.

Good luck with Tank. Give him a good home, and give him an extra kiss goodnight - every night - from me.

Thank you,

Paul Mallory

____________ _________ _________ _______

I folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope. Sure, I had heard of Paul Mallory, everyone in town knew him, even new people like me. Local kid, killed in Iraq a few months ago and posthumously earning the Silver Star when he gave his life to save three buddies. Flags have been at half-mast all summer.

I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees, staring at the dog.

"Hey, Tank," I said quietly.

The dog's head whipped up, his ears cocked and his eyes bright.

"C'mere boy."

He was instantly on his feet, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor. He sat in front of me, his head tilted, searching for the name he hadn't heard in months. "Tank," I whispered.

His tail swished.

I kept whispering his name, over and over, and each time, his ears lowered, his eyes softened, and his posture relaxed as a wave of contentment just seemed to flood him. I stroked his ears, rubbed his shoulders, buried my face into his scruff and hugged him.

"It's me now, Tank, just you and me. Your old pal gave you to me." Tank reached up and licked my cheek.

"So whatdaya say we play some ball?" His ears perked again.

"Yeah? Ball? You like that? Ball?"

Tank tore from my hands and disappeared into the next room. And when he came back, he had three tennis balls in his mouth.

(h/t)